Contingencies
by The Reader of Words
Summary: "Namikaze Minato had a very weird way of thinking. This he knew. His way of thinking made him plan ahead much further than others. This he also knew. So, no matter how much some of those thoughts pained and hurt him, he knew that, heartache for his son aside, it was best he be thorough. Gods willing, it wouldn't be needed. In this case, however, it unfortunately was." T for now.
1. Chapter 1

**Hello, my fellow Readers. So, I was daydreaming at 3:00 in the morning when this plot bunny bit me and demanded to be written. And, well, how could I refuse? Even though it isn't a happy start, hopefully, it'll look up. Because this is most of what I got, right here. **

~O~O~O~

_Konoha, Naruto's apartment, age 6_

Within the Seal holding the Yang half of the Kyuubi's chakra, all three residents of said Seal were watching the outside world in dread.

To start at the beginning, Fuuinjutsu. As much as the Uzumaki clan made their career by it, not_ all_ of them were actually _good_ at it. There was a minimum requirement for it, and you couldn't get very far up the ranks if you weren't good at them. However, Kushina was one of those who, while adequate, would never have made it past chuunin, by Uzushio's standards, due solely to her sealing. Uzushio's standards being stupidly high when it came to seals, chuunin level to them was Kage level to everyone else. That is to say, an apprentice with skill, to a master. Now, by Uzushio's standards, Namikaze Minato would've been one of those rare geniuses, and just about anyone looking to pass on the art would've wanted him, had he been Uzumaki. Which is to say, by their standards, he could've been Kage level. With Kushina getting him to chuunin level by the time he made jonin in Konoha, whereupon he obtained standard level Mastery to everybody else, he delved further, and by the time he was making a name for himself as the Yellow Flash, he was up to Kage level by Uzushio's standards. In Fuuinjutsu, mind you.

All of which meant, combined with his quirky way of thinking, he saw ahead much further, and was not, in any way, an idiot. Since he was not an idiot, he did not, as thought by several people, put all his trust in an hours old _infant_, never mind that said infant was his son and thereby bound to be impressive, given the chance. Thing was, as much as he wished otherwise, he did not have enough faith in humanity to completely trust them to go according to his best plan. Thus, contingencies were made. As Minato knew that, no matter how patient, forgiving, idiotic-acting, or sneaky his son would be, at some point under the crap life of a Jinchuurikki, he would break. It might happen in his teens, when he was an old man or, Kami forbid, as a child, but under that constant strain, it was an inevitability; one that Minato, with a heavy heart, planned for.

In all the versions of the varied multi-verse, most went according to the teens plan. The seal stable and steady enough that the chakra-imprint of Minato was able to talk him out of it, and Kushina later giving a combination hug and slap upside the head - Minato learned, being married to an Uzumaki, it was pretty much standard body-language-speak for 'I love you, you idiot, and nothing you say or do will change that'. In all it's years, Uzushio had never had missing-nin. Those two facts were not necessarily mutually exclusive, to Minato's thinking - and things remained on-course enough that Naruto befriended not just both halves of the Kyuubi, when he was made whole again, but all the bijuu, and though that fight was hard, drawn out, and draining more than everyone thought they had to give, things turned out generally well.

Some versions went almost perfectly, better than even Minato's best prediction. Those were rare, though. Some went bad, very, very bad, and Naruto, after snapping under the strain, going completely evil. Those were also rare, and the gods breathed easier when those reached their ends.

There were some like this one, though, that brought up one of the contingencies that Minato hated himself for even thinking of, that made him want to uncharacteristically give up, say 'fuck it', and _burn the village down_ himself, future of mankind be _damned_.

One of those where Naruto, as a small, lonely, unwanted child, simply could not take it anymore, and learned about a thing called _suicide_.

~O~O~O~

**There will be more. I have some typed up. I'm just gonna see what people think, for a bit. **

**Tell me what you think. Point out any errors I made. Tell me your favorite kind of ice cream. Talk to me, people. Review, review, review. It _feeds_ me. **

**And, since I'm feeling wonky, a preview. Or a teaser. That may or may not actually be used. **

_Minato might've hated himself for this, really, truly loathed himself, but he had to admit, it was probably the best opportunity for a prank he'd ever heard of. And damn his wife for bringing it up. And damn Kurama for planning out how to make it happen. And damn himself for being unable to resist._

_At least they'd have fun with this, even if the vindictive voice in the back of his head was all but screaming to kill all the sons of bitches, no insult meant to the bitches. _


	2. Chapter 2

**Hello, my fellow Readers. Not much to say, so here's the next chapter.**

~O~O~O~

_Still in Naruto's apartment _

Suicide.

Even if you didn't know what the word meant, had never heard if before in your life, somehow, it would still send a shiver down your spine.

When that drunk villager spat it at the oni-gaki, not even going to remember it the next day, while said oni-gaki was at an especially low point, it was the last, the very last, straw.

In so many other possibilities, timelines, and other universes, either Ichiraku Teuchi, or his daughter Ayame, would notice him, and offer the too-thin, obvious street-rat a bowl of ramen that would start a life-long obsession, unknowingly inherited from his mother. In the ones where they weren't there or didn't notice him, the Sandaime Hokage Sarutobi Hiruzen, watching in his crystal ball, would appear, and brighten up the downhearted child. In the ones where there were no kind ramen chef to take pity, no watchful well-meaning old men, there were newcomers to Konoha who, not knowing about the Kyuubi, would give the homeless boy a kind gesture. In the few, the thankfully rare, rare few, where there were none of those, three things happened.

One, nothing. It was just one man, after all, nothing to fret about. Naruto goes on his way, painfully fake smile in place, the nice old man in the funny hat is kind to him, and introduces this heavenly thing called ramen, at one of his favorite stand, the very next day. The smile becomes a little real.

Two, a bad thing. That's it, he can't tolerate this anymore. He never did anything to deserve this, and he would get his. They would all _burn_. And, even with only half the Kyuubi's power, that was still stupid amounts no one else in the village had. He said they'd burn, and burn they all would. In this scenario, they indeed did.

Three, a sad thing. Naruto, ever optimistic not-idiot, breaks. Wondering vaguely what the smelly drunk meant by sue-ice-side, he sneaks into the library and looks it up. 'The action of intentionally killing oneself', is what he finds. Broken, he decides to do this thing, and since he's in the library, he looks up how. He decides to stab himself in the heart, and keep it there, or he'd heal too fast to actually die.

It is, sadly, the object of this story, that this particular Naruto goes with that third option.

**(You have no idea how tempted I was to cut if off here. But it's too short for my liking, thus, you get more. Aren't you all lucky?)**

The little Jinchuurikki goes to a deserted ninja training ground, finds an abandoned or forgotten kunai, and heads to his not-fit-for-living apartment to do this deed.

Unknowing of the eyes watching on (horrified-but-resigned Minato, horrified-and-heartbroken Kushina, fake-gleeful-secretly-horrified Kurama and, through the mystical, magical, whatever crystal ball in the Hokage's office, horrified-and-panicking Hiruzen), Naruto plunges the kunai into his heart. Kyuubi can't heal a wound that, due to object obstruction, won't close. It takes the ANBU and Hokage-mid-panic-attack too long to get there. Young, six-year-old Naruto passes on, to much grief.

Now, in the afterlife, little Naruto is very, very confused to be pounced on by two crying, identical pretty ladies who say they're sorry, so very sorry, the one in white is named Hikari no Megami (Goddess of Light), the one in black is Yami no Megami(Goddess of Darkness). No, he won't have to hurt like that ever again. Naruto is raised in the afterlife, eventually becomes a god himself, and even the scant few enemies he makes respect him. He never wants for love again, as the Megami sisters adopt him as their younger brother, re-name him Yugare no Kami (God of Twilight), and he mostly forgets his short, short life as an abused child, save for when, sometimes, his sisters look at the human world, and weep.

That, however, is not part of this story. Save for the afterlife bit, Minato had a plan that, much as he hated himself for thinking it, he put in anyway. Part of his deal with the Shinigami consisted entirely of the fact that Naruto had to make it to, at minimum, thirteen before breaking, otherwise the deal is void. Minato gets his soul back, no snack for the Shinigami, he's helped make a seal for free. The God of Death had thought Naruto would make it that far, and farther, betting the Yondaime Hokage that Naruto would make it past fifteen without breaking, and if he didn't, he'd bestow on Minato's newly released soul a gift. In the event of Naruto breaking before ten, however, there were massive benefits for Minato. Benefits he planned on _using_. Ruthlessly.

Since Naruto completed suicide at six, four years before ten and seven before the deal would've been completely sealed, Minato got three personal favors from the gods, in general, on the Shinigami, on account of the years between ten and thirteen. And any four -within reason, even a gods abilities weren't infinite- gifts he cared to name, an account of the years from whatever age Naruto breaks until ten, four being the case here.

Ignoring all the god-favors he just got as if such happened everyday, ignoring his frantic, grief-stricken wife (he'd pay for that later. Dearly.), ignoring, even, the obviously fake glee on the fox's furry face, Minato implemented part one of his much hated plan. He assumed his son's body, to his wife's astonishment and the Kyuubi's fake-cursing-secret-relief. The ANBU, having arrived exactly ten seconds too late, noticed exactly nothing, removing the kunai from the too small body and watching, along with the silently crying old man, as the wound closed and, one of the ANBU pronounced, a fully healed heart. If not for the blood, one would never know the child had been injured.

Hiruzen was relieved. The ANBU, even the Kyuubi-haters amongst them, were relieved that their Kage had stopped crying. Kushina was stuck between bewilderment -Minato had waited three seconds after Naruto passed on, then acted- and relief -that the Kyuubi wouldn't get out. The Kyuubi, on the other paw, was wondering why he was both saddened and relieved. And in all this, Minato began doing something very, very dangerous.

He began plotting.

~O~O~O~

**How was it? Too much? Too little? Of what, you ask? Mashed potatoes- of course I mean the story! Review, review, review!**

**That teaser in the last chapter, you're wondering? Why didn't it appear in this one? Did I SAY it was going to be in this chapter? Heh heh heh. ; )**


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